“Buying a house is stressful” was something I heard from pretty much anyone I talked to about the process. For months I disagreed with this statement, because for us, it was not. Everything seemed to work out for my wife and I. We looked at several houses and did not see anything we liked. Then, our fantastic realtor notified us of a house for sale by the owner in our price range and we went to take a look. The experience of looking at the house was chaotic. We were followed throughout the entire walkthrough of the house by the homeowners young children. This finally stopped when our realtor was hit in the face with a lightsaber and the mother of the children asked them to leave us alone. As crazy as that was, it could not take away from the fact that we found the right house for us. We put in an offer, it was accepted and we set a date to close.
Three weeks before we were set to close the sellers asked us to move up closing by a week. We said yes, welcoming the additional time to work on the house. We then began counting the days until the house was ours. Our optimism level was outrageously high, and this optimism lasted right up until the moment we walked into the house for our final walkthrough.
The night before we closed, we scheduled our final walkthrough for 8pm. When we arrived the homeowners appeared to have just begun the moving out process. Our realtor informed this was not entirely uncommon, what was uncommon was the shape they left the house in. There were small holes in the floor they had hidden during walkthroughs. The stovetop was barely usable because it was so covered in filth and grease. The microwave was a horror show. The beautiful stainless steel fridge was filthy with a pungent odor coming from it. There was a greasy film on literally everything in the kitchen. I could go on but let's just say our soon-to-be new house was a disaster.
The house was still in horrible shape 20 minutes before closing was scheduled. I could bore you with more details but let's just say there were other issues the sellers were not completely honest about as well. Our closing was almost canceled but after some back and forth we still closed on the house. We were also compensated for the issues we found. We thought our issues with the sellers were behind us as we sat in the kitchen for the first time as homeowners. We then realized the sellers took the portable dishwasher they were contracted to leave. They tried to say it did not work and that they made that clear during the home inspection. As Maury Povich would say “that was a lie”.
That story may have been long and believe me, I cut it down for time. That chaos and cleaning the house is what I have been up to these past couple weeks. I have been looking forward to taking a moment to sit down and write about some beers. So let's see if we can make up for lost time by updating you on what I have been drinking.
The main beer I have been drinking is 3HB Lager. This wonderfully refreshing lager has been my official beer of pretty much everything through this process. From house sterilizing, packing, yard work, just relaxing on the deck or dealing with stolen appliances, this beer complimented each situation wonderfully. It's just an easy drinking crusher with a great malt profile and a crisp, clean finish. I hope Three Heads Brewing continues to brew this beer year round. It is my favorite offering from them so far. It is also my favorite new beer of 2018 so far. Seriously, I can't emphasize how much I love this lager and how excited I am it is brewed in my hometown.
Should you buy it? 100% yes.
3HB Lager is not the only lager I have been drinking during this process. Night Shift Nite Lite has also taken up a spot in my refrigerator. Unfortunately, all this beer did was make me wish I had a 3HB Lager or even a Coors Banquet. Since my college days, I have always had a soft spot for Coors Banquet. It is not the best beer in the world but a grenade bottle on a hot day is always refreshing. I stand by that statement. Coors Light however is an abomination, but I digress. Night Shift Nite Lite is a surprisingly average offering from a great brewery. The best way to describe the flavor is Bud Light with a touch of green apple on the finish. There is not really much else going on here.
Should you buy it? No, the can is the best thing about the beer.
After the walkthrough, I thought I needed a stronger beer. So I purchased Evil Twin's Hot Toddy-Ish Blonde Barleywine. I only took two sips of it, one to try it and the other because I could not believe a beer from Evil Twin could be that bad. Everything about this beer was a mess, the lemon, the ginger, the extremely fake bourbon flavor. Not wanting to waste a 5 dollar beer, I proceeded to see if my wife could drink it because she enjoys a good Hot Toddy. She thought it was just as bad as I did.
Should you buy it? Not if it is the only beer in the store.
Finally, 21st Amendment's Hell or High Watermelon is a favorite of mine, so I assumed I would love their watermelon sour ale, Watermelon Funk. To its credit, it delivers on the funk, but unfortunately little else. The beer is disappointingly bad, failing to deliver much in the way of sourness or watermelon. I thought for certain this beer would pair nicely with my sour attitude. However, it just made me want a Hell or High Watermelon or an Anderson Valley Briney Melon Gose.
Should you buy it? Sadly, no
While some of these beers may not have been what I hoped they would be, they still provided a pleasant distraction from the insanity of our homebuying experience. I am pleased to report work on the house is coming along nicely. We are doing our best to erase the memory of the past and make it a home for our future. The best way to do that, is cracking a few beers and making some positive memories in there. We intend to do a lot of both. Until next time...cheers!
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Thanks for reading. Sláinte!
